รบกวนช่วยดู Academic Essay ให้หน่อยค่ะ T^T

เรียงความนี้มีหัวข้อว่า  
Across the country, public places such as libraries and museums is now smoke- free environments, and restaurants are required to have separate smoking and non-smoking sections. Some smoke- free advocates are now campaigning to ban smoking in all restaurants and bars. Do you think this is a good idea? Why or why not? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.

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Intro
    There is no doubt that smoking spreads increasingly and has made big problems over the countries.

    Though they have smoke free zone in public places such as libraries and museum, it is not good enough.

    It would have been better if campaigning to ban smoking in other places such as all restaurants and bars succeed unexpectedly.

     Smoking in all restaurants and bars affected the health of people around smoker, it is a bad example for children if they see adult smoke. In the same way, smoking cigarette decreased your confident.  

    These three reasons are seen to be the biggest issue, the author will now be explained in the following paragraph.

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Body 1
    Firstly, nobody can argue that smoking has severe effects on secondhand smoke or nonsmoker surround smoker.

     Due to cigarette have many chemicals such as Nicotine, which can harm almost every organ in the body after breathed it.

    American Academy of Pediatrics (2015) claims that every year in the United States, there were about 438,000 nonsmokers die from diseases related to smoking.

    For example, breathing in smoke can cause many diseases such as Asthma , Lung cancer and Heart diseases.  

    If smoking is banned in public areas, everyone will have a healthier life and live safely.

Body 2

    Secondly, smoking in public is a bad example for children, children are influenced easily because they cannot analysis by themselves.

    McLaren, W. (2005) claims that children often imitate the people around them such as parents because they cannot discriminate between right and wrong.

    Parents and other adult should be a good example and teach them about disadvantages of smoking. For example, it can make children to die quickly.

    So,when they grown up, they know smoking is addictive which bad for their health.

    If smoking is not allowed in public areas where children can see, they will not be tempted to start smoking because they do not know about smoking.

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Body 3
    Another reason, smoking can decrease smoker’s confidence in many ways such as problem of dental health, skin health and body’s odor.

Family Dental (201 6) claims that many problems of teeth and gums was caused by smoking such as Tooth decay, foul breath and  Bleeding gums.

In addition, smokers had a body odor problems because their body need to sweat  with chemicals from cigarette, this odor can make clothes smells like smoke.

Also, Skin problems such as Wrinkles, Psoriasis and Ageing was caused by smoking.

These problems will abate your confidence because if you have  a bad image , other people will parody and detest you.

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Conclusion    
    In conclusion, Smoking can be dangerous not only for the smoker, but also for those around the smoker.

Due to smoking has a lot of chemicals that are toxins such as Nicotine and Tar.

It affects the health of secondhand smoke, smoker disbelievingly.

It is not good example for children and this is why smoking should be banned in public areas.

If smoking is banned in public places, it can save the life of the smoker as well as the public.

Nonetheless, everybody have a right to do but they should only be allowed to smoke in their places such as cars, trucks, vans or anywhere which is private.  
  
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