I have always be too rush. Probably that is why I am not loved back, it is too soon for him or her to know my feeling.
I think I am a good person, at least my friends told me. They said that I always care people I love: friends, family, colleagues, or even crushes I have my feeling for. But I still don’t understand why can’t I be the one that someone could love me back.
My first love was when I was in 7th grade. I like a guy in my class since the first day we talked. I told him at the end of school year that I really liked him, but we are friends. We had been friends for 8 years, and I had loved him for, I think 8 years. Then I realised that he wasn’t going to love me.
Actually when I was in 12th grade, I like a girl in my class. That was quite hard for me to admit that I actually am a bisexual. It was another great memory. She and I were a perfect couple, we go everywhere together, we study for entrance exams together, she always visit my room and we spend time there watching movies and fall asleep. But she is straight, and that can’t help. She likes me as a friend, but not as a girl-like-girl thing. My second love ended.
Then I came back to that guy, my first love. I spend another half year study with him. We were together till 2 or 3 AM every night - studied all night long. And we did it, we were accepted to the same faculty. I can’t move one from him. How can I? We met everyday, we talked and discussed lectures, we studied together.
I realised, in the 8th year of this crazy little love that it could never happen. We had an argument, ended up that we were not going to be friends anymore. We wouldn’t talk or say hi to each other. We were going to be a stranger, and all those years, we were just a passerby that accidentally had same path, same dream and same lifestyle.
I dated a girl in my sophomore year, it ended up that we were just not clicked to each other. I let her say goodbye, but she didn’t. She wanted us to be friend, but I don’t need any more friend. Who wants to be friend with your ex? Not me. So it ended quite bad.
Now, I have feelings to another girl. She is my high school senior. I thought she looked so good, when I was in 10th grade, but I didn’t think I could like a girl, and I still liked that 7th-grade guy. However, now I like her so much, but she just broke up with her girlfriend, and she hurts a lot. I told her I liked her, and I can be with her whenever she needs me. I want her to smile and ready to love someone again - even though that someone is not me. I thought I could do that, but I found out last night that I couldn’t. I like her more and more. My feeling gets deeper and deeper and I just can’t get up from this hole of love that I fell into. She talks about her ex, she hurts a lot. I don’t know how to help her, neither do I know how can I help myself to get through this.
Am I not lucky enough to deserve love? Why can’t I get some good love that doesn’t hurt me? I know things take time, but I also think that I might be a very unlucky person… or probably Gods forgot to send me my soulmate. I don’t know. I just want to be loved, just like I love others.
I feel like I don’t deserve to be loved. Am I?
I think I am a good person, at least my friends told me. They said that I always care people I love: friends, family, colleagues, or even crushes I have my feeling for. But I still don’t understand why can’t I be the one that someone could love me back.
My first love was when I was in 7th grade. I like a guy in my class since the first day we talked. I told him at the end of school year that I really liked him, but we are friends. We had been friends for 8 years, and I had loved him for, I think 8 years. Then I realised that he wasn’t going to love me.
Actually when I was in 12th grade, I like a girl in my class. That was quite hard for me to admit that I actually am a bisexual. It was another great memory. She and I were a perfect couple, we go everywhere together, we study for entrance exams together, she always visit my room and we spend time there watching movies and fall asleep. But she is straight, and that can’t help. She likes me as a friend, but not as a girl-like-girl thing. My second love ended.
Then I came back to that guy, my first love. I spend another half year study with him. We were together till 2 or 3 AM every night - studied all night long. And we did it, we were accepted to the same faculty. I can’t move one from him. How can I? We met everyday, we talked and discussed lectures, we studied together.
I realised, in the 8th year of this crazy little love that it could never happen. We had an argument, ended up that we were not going to be friends anymore. We wouldn’t talk or say hi to each other. We were going to be a stranger, and all those years, we were just a passerby that accidentally had same path, same dream and same lifestyle.
I dated a girl in my sophomore year, it ended up that we were just not clicked to each other. I let her say goodbye, but she didn’t. She wanted us to be friend, but I don’t need any more friend. Who wants to be friend with your ex? Not me. So it ended quite bad.
Now, I have feelings to another girl. She is my high school senior. I thought she looked so good, when I was in 10th grade, but I didn’t think I could like a girl, and I still liked that 7th-grade guy. However, now I like her so much, but she just broke up with her girlfriend, and she hurts a lot. I told her I liked her, and I can be with her whenever she needs me. I want her to smile and ready to love someone again - even though that someone is not me. I thought I could do that, but I found out last night that I couldn’t. I like her more and more. My feeling gets deeper and deeper and I just can’t get up from this hole of love that I fell into. She talks about her ex, she hurts a lot. I don’t know how to help her, neither do I know how can I help myself to get through this.
Am I not lucky enough to deserve love? Why can’t I get some good love that doesn’t hurt me? I know things take time, but I also think that I might be a very unlucky person… or probably Gods forgot to send me my soulmate. I don’t know. I just want to be loved, just like I love others.